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Peter: Don't worry Chris. Sometimes it's good not to fit in.

(Flashback to Veitnam)

Peter (dressed in a clown suit): You guys are stupid. Their gonna be looking for army people.

Peter: (Grabs the microphone at a fast food restaurant) Attention restaurant customers: Testicles. That is all.

[Quagmire sees a cheerleader tied up in a bathroom stall]

Quagmire: Dear diary: Jackpot.

Lois: What's going on down here?
Stewie: Oh, we're playing house.
Lois: That boy's all tied up.
Stewie: Roman Polanski's house

Peter: Excuse me, is your refrigerator running?
Because if it is, it probably runs like you - very homosexually.

Peter: Just don't forget our deal, Lois. I sit through this and later tonight I get anal. You hear me? No matter how neat I want the house you have to clean it.

Stewie: Did you forge my name? How dare you! Is this backwards "S" supposed to be cute? I'm going to crap double for you tonight!

Chris: Here Stewie, have a fig newton.
(Stewie eats the cookie.)
Stewie (while chewing): I say, I must use him for, OH GOD THERE'S AN ORGY IN MY MOUTH!!!!!

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