Peter (after
Lois tells him he's childish): "If I'm a
child that means you're a pedophile, and I'll be damned if I’m going
stand here and take this from a pervert."
Peter:
Sometimes it's appropriate to swear
(Peter is in court)
Bailiff: Do you swear to tell the truth,
the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help you god?
Peter:
I do........You b*st*rd
Glen Quagmire:
Hello, 911? It's Quagmire. Yeah, it's caught in the window this
time.
Diane Simmons:
Tom, I'm getting late word that you're a petty, jealous closet-case.
Tom
Tucker: Bit of breaking news, we now go
live to Diane being a b***h. Diane.
-
-
Stewie:
By all means, turn me into a child star. Perhaps I can move to
Californ-i-ay and wrangle me a three-way with the Olsen twins.
So they sent this little warning they’re prepared
to do the worst
Brian:
And they stuck it in your mailbox hoping you could be co-erced
Stewie:
I can think of quite another place they should have stuck it first!
Peter:
I don't say this often enough, but, uh, I'm gonna die.
Lois:
Oh my God.
Stewie:
High five! Anyone? Anyone?
Stewie:
Easy! Massage the scalp. You're washing a baby's hair, not scrubbing
vomit off your Christmas dress, you holiday drunk.
family guy quotes page 1
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