Stewie (to one
of the prostitutes at Cleveland's house):
So, is there any tread left on the tires? Or at this point
would it be like throwing a hot dog down a hallway?
Let me guess, you picked out yet another colorful box with a crank
that I'm expected to turn and turn until OOP! Big shock, a jack pops
out and you laugh and the kids laugh and the dog laughs and I die a
Victory is mine!
That's never happened to me before.
Girlfriend: What, the 8 seconds of sex or
the 40 minutes of crying?
Meg (about Peter
I can never go to school again!
yes, Meg, yes-yes yes, everything was going swimmingly for you until
this. Yes, yes, THIS is the thing that will ruin your reputation,
not your years of grotesque appearance, or your awkward social
graces, or that Felix Ungerish way you clear your sinuses, no no no,
it's THIS. Do you hear yourself talk? I might kill you tonight.
(Lois finds a note in Chris's pocket)
Huh, what's this? You know Stewie, Mommy doesn't usually read
things out of Chris's pocket. She's more respectful than that.
Whatever helps you sleep at night, b***h.
Well, I'd love to stay and chat, but you're a total b***h.
Stewie why don't you play in the other room?
Why don't you burn in hell?
stewie griffin quotes page 1