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"If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either."
Dick Cavett

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."
Brooke Shields

"You can tell German wine from vinegar by the label."
Mark Twain

"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."
Dave Barry

"Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others."
Groucho Marx

"When you cook it should be an act of love. To put a frozen bag in the microwave for your child is an act of hate."
Top chef Raymond Blanc

"It's OK for him to pounce about in the kitchen spending hours cooking, but I bet he doesn't have to juggle picking up the kids from school and running a house."
An un-named mother's response to M. Blanc

"When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity."
Albert Einstein

"Some people say that I must be a horrible person, but that's not true. I have the heart of a young boy -- in a jar on my desk."
Stephen King

"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society."
Mark Twain

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Quotes are a great way to motivate yourself or others. When we use quotes in our dialogue or in presentations we show people that we have learned from the wisdom of others and that we believe in what we are saying. We're not just sharing our opinion, it is how other's feel as well. So keep the wisdom of the past alive and recite some cute funny quotes today.

We hope you have enjoyed these Funny Quotes