Funny Quotes 4

"If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either."
Dick Cavett

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."
Brooke Shields

"You can tell German wine from vinegar by the label."
Mark Twain

"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."
Dave Barry

"Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others."
Groucho Marx

add

"When you cook it should be an act of love. To put a frozen bag in the microwave for your child is an act of hate."
Top chef Raymond Blanc

"It's OK for him to pounce about in the kitchen spending hours cooking, but I bet he doesn't have to juggle picking up the kids from school and running a house."
An un-named mother's response to M. Blanc

"When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity."
Albert Einstein

"Some people say that I must be a horrible person, but that's not true. I have the heart of a young boy -- in a jar on my desk."
Stephen King

"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society."
Mark Twain

Next Page

Funny quotes page  1 -2 -3 -4 -5 -6 -7 -8

More Quote Topics

  add