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Parents are the last people on earth who ought to have children.
Samuel Butler


Having a baby changes the way you view your in-laws. I love it when they come to visit now. They can hold the baby and I can go out.
Matthew Broderick


Oh aye...my Father would thrash me every now and then. He'd talk while he did it too! He'd hit me and shout, 'Have ye had enough?' Had enough? Whit kind of question is that? 'Why, Father, would another kick in the balls be out of the question???'
Billy Connolly


My understanding of women goes only as far as the pleasures.
Michael Caine (Alfie, 1966)



Women have a passion for mathematics. They divide their age in half, double the price of their clothes, and always add at least five years to the age of their best friend.
Marcel Achard


There are three faithful friends, an old wife, an old dog, and ready money.
Benjamin Franklin


As you get older, the pickings get slimmer, but the people don't.
Carrie Fisher


As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two...
Sir Norman Wisdom


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Quotes are a great way to motivate yourself or others. When we use quotes in our dialogue or in presentations we show people that we have learned from the wisdom of others and that we believe in what we are saying. We're not just sharing our opinion, it is how other's feel as well. So keep the wisdom of the past alive and recite some humorous quotes today.

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