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The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What's the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you'd get a pulse
Dennis Miller

 

The trouble with unemployment is that the minute you wake up in the morning you're on the job.
Slappy White

 

Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.
Demetri Martin

 

Ever since they found out that Lassie was a boy, the public has believed the worst about Hollywood.
Groucho Marx

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Hollywood is where they shoot too many pictures and not enough actors.
Walter Winchell

 

People tell me that Senator Edwards got picked for his good looks, his sex appeal, and his great hair. I say to them, 'How do you think I got the job?
Dick Cheney

 

Children seldom misquote.  In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.

Author Unknown

 

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back.

Unknown

 

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Quotes are a great way to motivate yourself or others. When we use quotes in our dialogue or in presentations we show people that we have learned from the wisdom of others and that we believe in what we are saying. We're not just sharing our opinion, it is how other's feel as well. So keep the wisdom of the past alive and recite some humorous quotes today.

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