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 presented by author / motivational speaker Nancy McFadden M.A.

Reflections on Death and Dying   --page 3--


As mentioned, children die too. We can never prepare for the emotional trauma, nor the change in life that follows. Still, there is every reason to consider the possibility. Were you to do so, would you not consider purchasing life-insurance/educational/trust-funds that provide a modicum of care for the surviving child? And, what about you? Should you be the survivor, important choices are demanded and the dignity of supporting one's personal grief over subjection to the 'business at hand' that all deaths demand calls on you to consider the benefits of self-care. As well, you need to create provision for your trauma on a financial level. Are you insured for the amount of money such a tragedy would demand? Do you really believe you could, or would want to make important business choices at such a time? Could you cope with the financial burden under the stress of the child's death? These are questions that demand thought for Self, and in the event your death should leave a child behind. Now a pleasant task at any time, it would appear that such things are better planned for, in the event of death and happily are never going to be used.
Consider these suggestions with an assurance that by following through on some, you will be inspired to develop other beneficial methods of participating in this solemn, yet inescapable experience.
Consider too, the advantage to Self in setting up any or all of the following: (a) creating trusts (however few or small) for someone you love or have a heart to support or encourage in their life. (b) buying life insurance (however small) to intercept financial burdens that may arise through death - yours or significant others'. (c) creating a will. People often decide that because no vast amount of money is involved, a will is pointless. A will allows you to decide what gifts or mementoes you would like to leave to a specific someone. (Try this practice just to move into that place of considering your own mortality and whom it may affect or influence); (d) pre-pay your own funeral. Choosing and expressing your decisions for cremation-vs-interment a memorial (you choose the picture/s, farewell message),-vs-a viewing service etc; (e) deciding the amount of money you want to invest in your funeral also helps connect you to the impact of your death on particular others and to have a hand in maintaining authority over your legacies; (f) making a living will - now, while you are best able to consider options and to decide what would be most dignified and acceptable to you. Leaving these choices to others forces them to 'imagine' what you prefer. Grief, shock, guilt etc. may make them vulnerable to the 'business-pressure' of appropriately deciding for the deceased. It benefits you, and them, to avoid such trauma and chaos. Make your preferences known on paper. Give a copy to someone you trust to execute your choices.
 

Death --page 1 2 3 4

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