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A hen is heavy when carried far.

I mind not being Drunk but then
Much mind to be seen drunken
Drink only perfects all our play
Yet breeds it discord always

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat.
Alex Levine

May the roof above us never fall in.
And may the friends gathered below it never fall out.

Here's to our wives and girlfriends:
May they never meet!

A friend's eye is a good mirror.

A lock is better than suspicion.

May you live to be a hundred years,
With one extra year to repent!

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