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I went to a meeting for premature ejaculators. I left early.
Jack Benny

I know why Superman left Krypton. Earth was the only place he could get steroids!
Milton Berle

The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits
Albert Einstein

There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
Frank Zappa

I thought coq au vin was love in a lorry.
Victoria Wood

I used to have Mad Cow's disease, but I'm alright Nooooooooow.
Billy Connolly

Most fools think they are only ignorant.
Benjamin Franklin

The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. But not in that order.
Brian Pickrell

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