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You know you're getting fat when you can pinch an inch on your forehead.
John Mendoza


When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I'm labeled senile.
George Burns


A good rule of thumb is if you've made it to thirty-five and your job still requires you to wear a name tag, you've made a serious vocational error.
Dennis Miller


Today is 'Take our Daughters to Work Day.' This is when girls ages Nine to Fifteen go to work. Or, as it's called at the Nike factory - Thursday.
Bill Maher




There are only three ages for women in Hollywood -- Babe, District Attorney, and Driving Miss Daisy.
Goldie Hawn


Hollywood's a place where they'll pay you a thousand dollars for a kiss, and fifty cents for your soul. I know, because I turned down the first offer often enough and held out for the fifty cents.
Marilyn Monroe


It's a scientific fact. For every year a person lives in Hollywood, they lose two points of their IQ.
Truman Capote


I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer.
Douglas Adams


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Quotes are a great way to motivate yourself or others. When we use quotes in our dialogue or in presentations we show people that we have learned from the wisdom of others and that we believe in what we are saying. We're not just sharing our opinion, it is how other's feel as well. So keep the wisdom of the past alive and recite some humor quotes today.

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