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People ask me what I'd most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit.
George Burns

Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf.

Gene Perret

Life begins at retirement.

Author Unknown

I'm retired - goodbye tension, hello pension!

Author Unknown

A retired husband is often a wife's full-time job.

Ella Harris

Retirement: It's nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese.

Gene Perret

When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income.

Chi Chi Rodriguez

The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.

Abe Lemons

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