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I once wanted to become an atheist but I gave up . . . they have no holidays.

-Henny Youngman

Look at Jewish history. Unrelieved lamenting would be intolerable. So, for every ten Jews beating their breasts, God designated one to be crazy and amuse the breast beaters. By the time I was five I knew I was that one.

- Mel Brooks

Ask about your neighbors, then buy the house.

Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies.

-Milton Berle

The time is at hand when the wearing of a prayer shawl and skullcap will not bar a man from the White House, unless, of course, the man is Jewish.

-Jules Farber

Even if you are Catholic, if you live in New York you're Jewish. If you live in Butte, Montana, you are going to be goyish even if you are Jewish.

-Lenny Bruce

Be sure to send a lazy man for the angel of death.

To be a Jew is a destiny.

-Vicky Baum

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Sayings are a great way to motivate yourself or others. When we use sayings in our dialogue or in presentations we show people that we have learned from the wisdom of others and that we believe in what we are saying. We're not just sharing our opinion, it is how others feel as well. So keep the wisdom of the past alive and recite some jewish sayings today.

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